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Ways To Riches: Mark Zuckerberg vs. Kevin Colvin, THE MENTAL CAGE MATCH!

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Don King couldn't script a better or worse fight. I'd love to see a cage match between the minds of Mark Zuckerberg (creator of facebook) and Kevin Colvin (fairy, Holy Cross senior, former bank intern, and if you don't know who he is by now then please read my first blog article, "How Facebook Is Killing Careers," and resume this one. I think the match would go a little something like this:

Mark's brain: I was writing code and deemed a progamming genius by the time I was in 6th grade and decided it would be a great idea to go to Harvard and receive one of the most respected educations in the world.

Kevin's brain: I think I like girls. Beer is cool right guys? Right? HOLY CROSS! Busch Light!

Mark's brain: I got to Harvard and thought of this great idea with the help of some other students, lifted all the pictures of the students off the Harvard system, and created this thing now called facebook where you could then rate and berate the appearances of your classmates.

Kevin's Brain: I thought Rugby was the coolest because my brother was on the team at Holy Cross. I think he might still go professional. I hoped I could ride his coat tails through college so I wouldn't have to be an individual at some other school. BEER! PARTAY! Holy Cross Babay!

Mark's Brain: Facebook blew up and we spread it to over 40 colleges and universities. Then I dropped out of Harvard and moved to Palo Alto, CA to pursue something that may rival Google's popularity one day.

Kevin's Brain: You dropped out of college Mark! What a loser you are man. When are you going to have time to party running your own company?

Mark's Brain: Yahoo showed up on my door step with duffle bags full of a billion dollars in cash. I turned them down.

Kevin's Brain: I decided to become an intern at a bank during my senior year of college, because that's what I was supposed to do...become an intern.

Mark's Brain: Yeah....well then Bill Gates swooped in an gave me $240 million for 1.6% of facebook. That means he valued my company at around $15 billion dollars.

Kevin's Brain: I learned how to manipulate my boss at my job and scored some time off work to party over Halloween with my Holy Cross buddies. I told my boss I was going to New York to visit my family for an emergency...a hangover emergency! Huh huh ha huh. Busch Light!

Mark's Brain: I'm now 23 and trying to figure out how to run one of the fastest growing companies in the world. Do I try a revenue model around advertising? Did I make a mistake? There are a lot of people's futures riding on my decisions. I'm excited to make every one of employees live's better. Did I mention that I haven't changed who I am one bit.

Kevin's Brain: Oh man...bummer...my costume picture got on facebook and now everyone in the country totally knows I skipped work to party over Halloween. I dressed up as a fairy and now my life totally sucks cause everyone/most employers in the area knows I'm a party harty fairy. I'm now my own dismal yet hysterical viral marketing campaign thanks to you Mark. I had to pull my profile down off of your facebook.

Mark's Brain: No problem Kevin. You're an idiot...sorry, want a job at faceook? Psyche! You're still an idiot. That's why we created privacy settings. T.K.O.

I've watched the 60 Minutes episode with Mark Zuckerberg a few times now, and I'm always amazed at what he's accomplished without changing who he is (he's also one of the smartest kids on the planet). I will admit that I was a bit of a socialite in college like Kevin. But I also focused on the best way to get a quality education and make money at the time, where I was, with what I had, and then the best way to get into a career of my interests. During college one of my friends and I took over a small business' online advertising and keyword strategy. We managed to raise their organic ranks, traffic, revenue, and soon took over their computer based bookkeeping. It just makes a lot of sense to me not to sacrifice who you are for the sake of becoming involved in a job that doesn't compliment you and vice versa. If you're not ready for responsibility then don't take it on. If you're passionate about something then GO AFTER IT! If it means dropping out of Harvard to try and launch the biggest company post Google then so be it. As Kevin would probably, stagnantly say...Get 'Er Done!

 

 

 

Comments

What was that guy's name? Stanley? Remember that one time we were like, "he probably just drives around all day getting into accidents?" Bwahahaha.
P.S. Good article.
Posted @ Wednesday, February 06, 2008 3:07 PM by Brian
i have to say, i take offense to your portrayal of a holy cross student... although it may not be completely inaccurate
Posted @ Friday, February 08, 2008 11:47 PM by LaurenK
blog post writer's mind: worship enough rich people, and mock enough unlucky people, and the rich people might hire me some day.
Posted @ Monday, May 19, 2008 6:41 PM by worshiptherich
Nah, worshiping rich people is a waste of time. Understanding the creative juices that got them where they are is what I'm interested in. The only real reason I referenced that kid again was to see if I could drive some more traffic since he was being typed into search engines and recent grads were my target demographic for a few posts. It was just a test. I do feel bad for the kid, but it's still funny.
Posted @ Monday, May 19, 2008 7:02 PM by Chris Johnson
Chris Johnson needs to get his eyes out of his little macbook blog machine and his ass out of whatever starbucks hes stealing free wi-fi from and have some fun. Chris Johnson's college life went a little something like this: Mon-Fri reading up on the latest success stories of entreprenuers that you can find in Barnes & Noble "How to make millions with one penny!" "How to waste time dreaming big and become a complete waste of a blogger by 25!"....See Chris Johnson loves to eat up Kevin's story and rip on Holy Cross students while Mr. Johnson (nickname for penis; might have done some damage to him as a middle school kid, either that or lack of a father figure) is a 5th year (kevin graduated) "Entrepreneurship major at RIT. He was taught how to be successful and create your own business by teachers who know nothing about business at all because in the end, those who cant DO - TEACH, dickhead.  
 
As for the rest of us (that graduated on time with a REAL major) our college life went a little something like this: Mon- Fri - slay women, drink, contact alumni, get jobs.  
 
Chris, we all know you are jealous of Kevin's outfit because its the one you've been putting on in your bedroom mirror since your first Halloween and Kevin came out on top, all over the world in your outfit, sorry bud. 
 
Stop blogging about Career strategies and get one.
Posted @ Friday, August 01, 2008 3:57 PM by Starbucks posterboy
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